One of the highlights of this year’s Oscars was Sean Penn’s win for best supporting actor. Not because he deserved it – although in truth he probably did – but because he didn’t turn up, which simultaneously made the ceremony a little bit shorter and spared the world a Sean Penn acceptance speech.
At the time, much was made about the reason for Penn’s absence. Since he spent Oscars night in Ukraine, the leading theory was that he was making a profound point about the frivolity of backslapping awards shows during times of tangible crisis. Turns out that isn’t quite the case, though. Sean Penn skipped the Oscars because he hates selfies. We’ll get to the exact quote in a minute, and you should probably brace yourself for it, but he really, really hates selfies. A lot.
During a conversation with CNN anchor Kaitlan Collins at the Tribeca festival on Friday, Penn broached the subject of his Oscars absence. He started by noting that he generally isn’t very good with crowds. “It’s not just [that it’s] an awards show,” he explained of the ceremony. “It would be the same if this group was going to an afterparty and one stepped into that. That always represented social discomfort for me; too many people.” As a rule, Penn stated that he now no longer mixes in any social group larger than eight people.
But wait, didn’t Penn attend the Golden Globes this year? And isn’t the Golden Globes famous for having more than eight attendees? Correct, and it turns out the whole affair was so relentlessly awful that it spurred his decision to quit awards shows forever. In fairness to Penn, it was clearly a rough night for him; host Nikki Glaser compared his face to a sexy leather handbag, he was caught smoking at his table and then he lost to Stellan Skarsgård.
Mainly, though, the thing he hated the most was the selfies. We’re getting close to the quote now, so prepare yourself for it, but for context Penn told Collins that after the show he found himself fending off waves of people who wanted to have their photo taken with him. It is safe to say that he is not a fan.
“People should not do selfies ever with anyone,” Penn told Collins. “It’s bad for you. It’s bad for everyone. It’s a soul-sucker.”
And in this respect, Penn joins a growing number of celebrities who prefer not to have selfies taken with fans. Paul McCartney recently revealed that he has a long spiel about not wanting to look like a specific monkey from St-Tropez whose sole job involves taking pictures with tourists for money. Emilia Clarke says she stopped after someone tried to take a photo while she was in the middle of a panic attack in an airport. Emma Watson refuses because she doesn’t want to constantly give away her location to the internet.
Which are all valid reasons. But Sean Penn really means it. There is nobody he won’t reject if they approach him for a selfie. To illustrate this, here’s his exact quote.
“The Holocaust grandmother and her six-year-old paraplegic wheeling over? It’s a hard no.”
That’s how much he means it. Even if you survived the greatest horror of the 20th century, even if your life is dedicated to caring for your disabled relatives, it’s a no. And not just a polite no, either. A hard no.
So this is where we are. Even if you hate selfies with every fibre of your being, now you must come to terms with the fact that your hatred doesn’t even come close to touching how much Sean Penn hates selfies. He hates selfies so much that he’s willing to invoke the literal Holocaust to get his point across.
There aren’t many people who would go to such lengths. Imagine Tom Hanks dropping the Holocaust into a casual conversation about a petty modern annoyance. Try to picture Dame Judi Dench comparing a slow-moving airport queue to a catastrophic war crime. You cannot. And yet, with Sean Penn, it is somehow part of his brand. Of course he went straight to the Holocaust. Of course he did.
Still, at least his point has been made. Nobody in their right mind would ever dare to ask Sean Penn for a selfie now. Not when they could get him to film a TikTok with them.
