‘We’re hunky in our own way’: Modern Family’s Mitch and Cam on their hilarious and groundbreaking love

Opposites attract. And spend most of their time arguing. But the love between Cameron and Mitchell Tucker-Pritchett remained strong throughout the 11 years of Modern Family.

The two met at a games night when Mitch rolled his eyes every time Cam “got a little boisterous”. They married in two of the most romantic and near-disastrous TV episodes in living memory and raised two adopted children, Lily and Rexford. Being a groundbreaking gay TV couple came at a price: critics wanted more PDAs and less fighting, but Cam and Mitch’s love shone bright.

“Mitch and Cam were a gay couple raising a child on TV, so the microscope was zoomed in with a little more focus so a lot of their flaws were heightened,” says Jesse Tyler Ferguson, who plays Mitch. “But I think, when you sit back and look at it, you can see how much love there is between those two people and the family they created.”

The chemistry between Tyler Ferguson and TV partner Eric Stonestreet is so strong that talking to them is like watching an episode of Modern Family. “There was never any doubt, even in the early years when we were getting to know each other, that this was going to be someone who’d be in my life for ever,” says Tyler Ferguson. Stonestreet remains tight-lipped, but the affection is powerful. “If I’m in your world jacking with you, then you can take it to the bank that I’m in love with you,” he says.

Modern Family ran from 2009 to 2020, when Cam and Mitch drove off to live happily ever after in Missouri. Tyler Ferguson and Stonestreet live in different cities, but still see each other and talk regularly – and their love for the characters lives on.

Do you remember meeting for the first time?

ES: We met when the producers were testing potential Cams with their already-cast Mitchell.

JTF: It was like speed dating, meeting all these different guys and waiting for chemistry to happen. I was certainly drawn to Eric as a person. He was very kind, sweet and excited to be there. Do you want to bring up the Z snap or not?

ES: I’ll set it up and you finish it. I’d had three auditions and I’d learned where the laughs were and had a take on the character, so I was very confident. Then we get to the big moment – the network test – and I wasn’t feeling it. So …

JTF: The room was a little less warm than Eric had been experiencing before. In this moment where he thought that there should be a laugh and there wasn’t one, he panicked and did a gay Z snap.

ES: To this day I have no knowledge of where that came from. I knew it was a ridiculous thing to do and I left thinking I’d messed up. But Jesse was very kind. I remember you saying: “Really good job, that was awesome.”

What do Cam and Mitch love about each other?

JTF: The most iconic romances develop when opposites attract, like Sam and Diane in Cheers or Ross and Rachel in Friends. Mitch lived a very sheltered life as far as being in the closet and he finds a lot of comfort in Cam’s free spirit.

ES: Here are these two imperfect people who’ve found each other and the perfectness in each other. That makes the characters likable immediately. It gets the relationship so much further down the road when it’s not two hunky dudes. Well, we’re hunky in our own way.

What were your favourite romantic moments?

JTF: The whole PDA thing was so interesting to me. When you looked at all the couples on the show, there’s not a tonne of PDA between Jay and Gloria either, but because we were the gay couple we took the heat.

ES: What really hurt my feelings in the beginning was people saying because I was straight I didn’t want to kiss Jesse. First of all, that’s stupid and secondly I’d been in a very gay cult classic movie called Girls Will Be Girls where I’d made out with a drag queen, so please, girl.

JTF: The writers’ response to that is that Mitch has a fear of PDA and then they made this wonderful episode called The Kiss where there’s a moment between Mitch and his dad showing affection and then in the background you see Cam and Mitch kiss. I found it so moving.

Is there anything you wish that Cam and Mitch did differently?

ES: I got caught up when people were saying Mitch and Cam argue a lot. There were times when I’d look at Jesse and go,“Here we go again,” but it was our job to make those arguments relatable.

JTF: I wish they had a better ground plan for their house. We’d always say it’s strange that they only have one bathroom and it’s right off the kitchen.

ES: It’s sprawling in Missouri, trust me.

When did you realise this was a love story for the ages?

JTF: Only in hindsight. I grew up gay and closeted in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and didn’t have anyone on television who was aspirational for me, like “I could get married and have kids”. To know that Eric and I are that for people makes this job feel like a gift.

ES: I don’t even know how to process it when a 14-year-old kid to comes up to me now and says: “I’m gay and I love your character and thank you so much.” The fact we have an effect on people’s lives who weren’t even born when we shot Modern Family is unreal and I’m so grateful.

What has been the most intense fan reaction to Cam and Mitch?

JTF: Tears. People wanting to give me a hug and being so moved. That’s the good version. There’s also the ones where people are screaming and running down the street.

ES: People will come up to me and say: “I watched three episodes during my chemo and you helped me get through those treatments.” I was in New York City seeing a Broadway show and this woman stops me and she says: “Seeing you here tonight has brought my daughter back to life. You were my daughter’s favourite character and the last time I saw her laugh was watching you on Modern Family and you being here right now is like her being here.” I lost it and gave her the biggest, warmest hug I could.

How romantic are you in real life?

ES: My dad was this big, burly guy and sometimes they’re the most romantic ones. You feel like you’ve won a different kind of prize because it’s not all out there for everyone to see. I think I’m romantic – I have the best gift for our one-year wedding anniversary [Eric is married to Lindsay Schweitzer].

JTF: I do my best to be romantic. Small acts of affection are very important to me and I show my love by planning date nights. I’m a great cook and I like to cook for Justin [Mikita, Jesse’s husband].

Did you keep anything from the set that reminds you of Cam and Mitch?

ES: I have the portrait that was above our fireplace of Mitch, Cam and Lily and a basket of fake lemons just because it was an inside joke with one of the producers, Chris Lloyd.

JTF: There were a few pieces that we fought over. I have this painting from the Cam and Mitch house and I don’t remember the details of why I was in a scene, but I ended up taking it.

What was your real relationship like off camera?

ES: I’m more Mitchell off camera and Jesse’s more Cam. He’s breezy and will let things go and I’m the one who’s uptight and constantly worrying about everything. I really enjoyed strapping on my loafers and poufing my hair up because it gave me the chance to be a better version of myself, which is what Cam is.

JTF: Eric is very thoughtful as a friend and one of his love languages is pranks. He’s really good at the long-game prank, so he will show affection by creating scenarios that will bring joy to people but also give him pleasure. A lot of our relationship is him ruthlessly pranking me and teasing me and it all comes from a place of love.

What can Cam and Mitch teach us about love?

JTF: It’s a long game. There are different phases of love – it has peaks and valleys that come with kids, jobs and getting to know each other and you have to allow fights to happen. My father-in-law always says: “We’ve been married 52 years, 33 happily” and he never specifies which they are.

ES: We wanted Mitch and Cam to reflect real relationships. My wife, Lindsay, gives me permission to be myself and I desperately want her to be herself and although Mitch would raise a judging eyebrow every once in a while at something Cam would do, they love each other in the face of imperfection.

JTF: I have the utmost faith in them and their relationship, so I think they’re still together. Absolutely.